It’s no secret here at Telappliant that we absolutely love cloud communications – it’s kind of what we’re famous for.
We’ve totally won a bunch of awards for it, too, like over 10. No big deal though, right? Who’s even counting? The Guinness book of world records, probably. Good luck to them, that’s their prerogative. It’s not why we do it though.
With our greatness already signed, sealed and delivered, we thought we’d take a little break from lecturing you about VoIP and devote a little attention to other forms of business communications. After all, VoIP isn’t for everyone, and as Natwest once said, ‘there is another way’.
Smoke signals
If you’re worried about long distance call charges, then smoke signalling is perfect for you. Smoke signalling can be used to transmit news, signal danger or to gather people in a common area.
In Ancient China, soldiers stationed along the Great Wall would alert each other of impending enemy attack by signalling from tower-to-tower. By doing this, they were able to transmit messages as far as 750 kilometres away in just a few hours.
In Rome, smoke signals are still used today to indicate the selection of a new Pope during a papal conclave. Just so we’re absolutely clear on this, they’ve heard of the telephone, yet are still sticking with the smoke signals. This can only mean that they actually prefer it, and who can blame them? As philosopher David Brent once said “A good idea is a good idea, forever”.
Telepathy
According to Wikipedia, telepathy is considered to be a form of extrasensory perception or anomalous cognition in which information is transferred through Psi. We expect that anyone who hasn’t swallowed a dictionary may find that sentence quite confusing, so we’ll break it down.
The word itself is made up of tele, which means distance, and pathy, which means feelings, and together they make up the act of mind-to-mind communication. A beginner in the field can usually communicate one-to-one. However, masters of this technique can communicate with multiple minds at once, which we can imagine is the equivalent of making a conference call, only minus the hardware and wires – perfect for those new age business minimalists.
Whistling
Does your business have a secret formula or sales technique that needs to remain confidential? Then why take a chance on someone overhearing you talking when you could stay secure by whistling instead?
Whistled languages use whistling to emulate speech and facilitate communication. Fluent whistlers can understand the tone, length and pitch of the whistle and then translate it into words. In business, it’s the perfect way to keep your secrets secret. There are literally hundreds of different whistling languages, so simply pick one for your business and start using your own secret code to talk shop.
Skywriting
Nothing says success quite like skywriting does. Want to close an important deal? Skywrite your special offer above the client’s location. Want to fire an employee? Skywrite their P45 as they leave for lunch. Want to settle a customer complaint? Well, you get the point.
The simple fact is that everything comes across better when written in the sky and it’s no coincidence that this is the number one way of proposing to your partner (in our made up statistics, anyway). If you’re money and you know it, get investing in a plane now.
However you choose to communicate as a business, just know that there are no wrong answers and whatever you choose will be right for you. Unless you’re using a cup and a string. That would be awful.
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