The Dinosaurus: I

Updated business jargon for the Millennials.

FTTC internet

Business jargon provides a word or phrase for communicating a bigger picture idea within the world of business. It’s mostly pompous, old fashioned and mainly serves to ostracize those around you.

On the flip side, it makes you look intelligent in front of small children and animals, so it is worth knowing. If only it were a little more hip, then more people would be impressed and it would remain a relevant way of communicating.

To ensure that business jargon doesn’t go extinct, we have created The Dinosaurus (get it? Just like The Thesaurus! Ha!). It’s a modern day version of business jargon that even the no-time-for-anything-but-music-and-art Millennials can use.

As we are communication polymaths, we feel it is our duty to help you communicate more intelligently, after all, why waste time on fully formed sentences, words and grammar when you don’t need to? Amirite?

dinosaurus v1

Ackly (to replace Alcluistic)

Describing something/someone that is clueless; without a clue.

“Is it just me or was Patrick being massively ackly during that last board meeting”

Bipster (to replace Contrarian)

Business hipster; to go against the grain, a person who makes decisions in opposition to mainstream ideas.

“I’m not sure about these suit-trouser shorts, Rob, don’t you think they make me look like a bipster?”

Double Dee (to replace Due diligence)

Making business decisions by being prepared and thorough.

“It appears that you have not done your double dee here Jake and as a result, I cannot approve that new ice cream flavour.”

EZ (to replace Quick win)

A decision made in order to get positive results fast.

“Conor, trust me it’s EZ, you’re going to make some serious wonga from this multi-level marketing scheme.”

Hiss (to replace Bag of snakes)

A business situation with unexpected issues.

“I’m not sure Sandy, it feels like we could get hiss all over our hands with this one.”

OTT (to replace 110%)

Over the top; go the extra mile, give your all, and then some more.

“Mikey, you’ve gone completely OTT this time and I have to say that I am extremely impressed!”

Poet (to replace Meta ignorance)

Being oblivious to what you don’t know.

“I’m afraid it’s worse than we thought Dan, he’s a poet and he doesn’t even realise.”

Selfie (to replace Xerox subsidy)

Using the business printer, photocopier or fax machine for personal reasons.

“Hey Max, is that Alton Towers map you’re printing work related or are you taking a selfie?”

Zoom In/Out (to replace Granular)

To go into excessive detail.

“Felicia, I suggest you zoom out a little in the next meeting, nobody wants to know how your relationship with Derrick from accounts is coming along.”

That’s all for this volume of the soon-to-be world famous Dinosaurus. Tune in soon for more business Jargon for the Millennial generation. Don’t be selfish though, if you like it, share it!

Want to tell us about a boring jargonistic term that you want included in the next version? Do it, do it now!

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